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People treat you better when you're not fat. Even better if you're jacked.

Updated: Jun 22

I've lived on 3 sides of the triangle as an adult. I've been fat. I've been what some would consider normal. And I've been jacked. I can say with 100% certainty, jacked wins in every category you can think of.

I was fat my entire childhood so I can't speak from experience on those sides. But from the fat kid looking in, the other guys had it way better. From girls, to other guys, and even teachers. Being fat just wasn't as good as being thin or muscular. I have very specific instances I can think of that proved, to me at least, having an athletic appearance was light years ahead of being fat.

9th grade biology class. Another male student and I were up at the teachers desk when a girl walked up. The teacher was commenting on the other male student looking really tan, it was December after all and he was a white kid. The other student laughed and pulled up his shirt. Immediately revealing how tan his stomach was. It caught me and the other girl off guard when we noticed this dude had a solid ass six pack. The girl lost her breath for a moment and her face turned red. She immediately started playing with her hair and biting her lip. Now I didn't have a crush on this girl or anything but she was pretty attractive. Not thinking I pulled up my shirt revealing my stomach. You know, to show I wasn't tan and maybe for a laugh. But it wasn't funny. The look on her face when I pulled up my shirt was well...opposite. As soon as I saw the look on her face, I pulled my shirt down and got super embarrassed. I'm not sure why. I knew I didn't look good. But I wasn't expecting that response either.

Really think about it. Anytime, anyone, anywhere gets into a verbal argument with someone, what is the first insult thrown out if the person is even slightly overweight? Fat Ass, Fatso, Fat Fuck, Bitch tits and a million other ways to call someone fat. It is literally automatic. The lowest hanging fruit. When you're fat, you receive less respect. Full stop. No mincing words. It's 100% true.

Now, some people truly don't care. But this is rare. That insult stings 99.9% of people. Yeah yeah, you're the .01% of people it doesn't bother. right...

Teacher's would even treat fat students different than thin students. I'm not saying all and I'm not saying it is their fault. It's simply human nature. Fat kids aren't abused. Its just different. Most of the time just slightly different. But it's never "better" different". I don't have any scientific studies but I've seen enough to know it. And if you look deep down you know this to be true. Being fat is associated with being lazy, unmotivated, or something to be taken pity on.

"But that's just kids, they're cruel. Once you're an adult, respect is given the same no matter what size you are"

Wrong. It's worse.

I can say without a shadow of a doubt. The respect I was given when I was fat isn't a fraction of what it is now. This goes for when I was just a normal weight. But its amplified 100 fold when I put on significant muscle mass.

I can literally tell a difference from when I'm shredded and can fit in 32" waist jeans. Compared to 34" waist the difference is subtle but It is there. If I slack off and move up to my 36" pants. Its substantially different. It just is.

This goes for all aspects of my life. Work, women, and social interactions with strangers. I swear my kids even listen better the more jacked I am. It's such an insane experience. People just want to be around you. They want to talk to you. And instead of being bitter about it, I feel extremely lucky to have gotten this education. It's something no amount of money can buy.

This picture was taken by a coworker and still friend of mine. I was a few years into the oilfield working as an electronic technician. I thought of myself as the "comic relief" and made constant excuses for being fat. I enjoyed working with everyone and had plenty of friends there. But I wasn't respected. There was always comments about my weight. I would lean into them and laugh along or do dumb shit like shoving an entire cup of Ramen into my mouth to get a chuckle. But that's just it. I was a joke. And even if they didn't mean it, they were laughing at me, not with me. I don't blame them at all. Look at me. How does a man who carries himself this way deserve any real respect?

My immediate boss was kind of a dickhead. And when I say kind of, I mean he was a huge dick. But to this day, I have never met anyone who is better at trouble shooting electronics or thinking logically about problems. Lots of people said they didn't care for his attitude, but everyone was glad when he answered his phone at 3am when we had a piece of equipment down. I looked up to him and he never treated me badly, but he was really good at coming up with fat jokes. Most of them were pretty hilarious, but they did indeed bother me.

A few years after leaving this place I still have a friendly relationship with a lot of people from there, including him. But I'll never forget when I went to his house years later to buy some tree stands he was selling. I looked a lot different. He talked to me different, it was almost surreal. like he was proud of me. Almost like a dad who watched his son accomplish something. And on the way home I couldn't help but think how different my time at that job would have been, had I not been fat.

A lot of this treatment comes down to the way you look. But your self confidence and the way you act directly correlate to how jacked you are. You talk louder, more assured and confident. You move differently. You shake hands differently. You approach problems differently. It's a snowball effect. You start putting on muscle, then you get a few compliments or girls actually give you their number. Which leads to more and more until it feels like your old fat life was a bad dream.

I realized while writing this article that there is way to much information I am trying to squeeze into a single blog post. So I'm going to break it down into several smaller posts. Like a "People treat you better when you're not fat. Even better if your jacked." Mini series. Each one pertaining to different aspects of how you are treated differently etc.

This is just a general overview and introduction to the topic. It's a deep rabbit hole. One I particularly know a lot about and enjoy talking about.

I know this reality of how the world really is upsets some people. And I don't understand why. Why would you want to live your life the way you think things "should be" instead of "how they are"?

There are literal cheat codes at winning this life.

I don't even think about whether its "right" or "the way it should be". I live and make decisions based on the reality I live in. I don't ask that the hoop be lowered for me, I get better at shooting at the 10 foot hoop.

Jim Rohn “Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better.”

Until next time, live with GRIT


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